A Farewell to Alice

The great Ann B. Davis died this week at the age of 88. While she did other work before the Brady Bunch  (and in fact won two Emmy Awards) it was her role as the stalwart Alice, that forever put her on the sitcom and pop culture map. Chief cook and bottle washer, she also was a foil to the Brady Six, confidant, and loyal companion to Sam the Butcher (she had a lot of extra time on her hands as the housekeeper of a dwelling with no toilets to clean).  And, tried as she might to break free of the clan, she always found her way back to that little room behind the kitchen just past the rarely seen laundry area. Alice was the glue that fused this blended family. It turns out that Ann B. Davis, I found upon reading her obituary, also had a twin sister. So now I am forced to rethink my criticism of all of those cousin and doppelganger episodes - maybe she didn't play both roles after all.

Of course readers of this blog know that my personal relationship with Alice goes much deeper. I will always be grateful for Ann B. Davis' willingness to lend her name and likeness to a "cook book" that was so fatally flawed yet provided me with such comfort (not food) during a dark time. She may have also helped me find my special purpose. I sure hope there is a Meat Cutter's Ball in heaven.

The Recipe: Ann B.'s One and Only Beef Jerky

I must confess that I did not attempt all of the recipes, but merely 117 (one for each episode) of the series. The book has more, and here is one, reprinted in it's entirety, without added comment from me. One read of it and you will see what I was up against.

Beef Brisket
Soy sauce
Lemon juice
Worcestershire sauce (not much)
Crushed red pepper (optional)
Garlic salt (optional)
Coarse ground pepper (optional)
Tabasco sauce (optional)
Smoke flavoring (optional)
Smashed dried onions (optional)
Cumin (optional, a little goes a long way)
Anything else that occurs to you

Cut off all of the fat from the beef (fat will not dry). Slice into manageably sized pieces. Arrange the beef strips in a shallow dish.
In a bowl combine one part soy sauce and two parts lemon juice (in a quantity great enough to cover the beef strips). Add any or all off the remaining ingredients that appeal to you. Pour the marinade over the beef and let sit overnight.
Drain. Spread the beef out on aluminum foil and put it in an oven that has a gas pilot. Don't light the oven. After 3 or 4 days it will be black and ugly and taste wonderful.
Alice's Note: I used to call this "My Secret Recipe for Beef Jerky That I Give to Everybody" because I kept hoping that someone would make it, then send me some. It takes 3 or 4 days to make, and I was always on the road a lot and didn't have time. I have lots of time now, so don't send me any. Try it. If you like it, give it to someone you like. If you don't like it, give it to someone you don't like.
Makes 4 to 6 servings.

Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore

This is my 123rd post and my last for "Cooking with Alice." I have prepared 102 recipes (which is more than the authors can say) and blogged for each of 117 episodes of the series. Back in June, when I started this, I had no idea what I was getting myself into. Which is a good thing, because if I had been in my right mind I never would have done it. I want to thank all of  you who encouraged and laughed and cried along side of me through this process. At the onset, it didn't seem that life could move forward, but of course it has. There have been highs and lows and a lot of bittersweet (or should I say butter-sweet?) moments in between. The chef Julia Child had the philosophy that laughter was as delicious as food, so if that is the case, everything I made was scrumptious. I am glad to be ending on a high note, like the Mary Tyler Moore Show, rather than being cancelled without notice like The Brady Bunch. I want to especially thank Mark and Julia. Mark is my silent partner and my better half. He kept me going when I so wanted to quit, always reminding me that Denni would never let me hear the end of it if I did. And my own Julia child, whose sweetness and good nature kept us focused, never forgetting the sacrifice of eating nasty food was for Uncle Denni. I wish life were like TV, so I could just wake up next to Suzanne Pleschette and have this all have been a dream, but it isn't, and saying goodbye to Alice is like saying goodbye to Denni, for a second time. I truly felt like he was with me everyday in the kitchen, and I will admit to talking to him on the days things didn't go as planned. In June, I didn't know how I would make it through each day and I needed a crutch, which this blog turned out to be.  As a whole, I have learned a lot about myself and cooking (mostly how not to). This experience has expanded my horizons, we will have to wait and see where it takes me next. Stay tuned.

Episode Note: "Alice Doesn't Live Here Anymore" Feeling that the boys need to bond with their new stepmother, Alice defers all requests for band-aids, buttons, and arbitrations to Carol. Carol is elated, making her 'feel like a mother and wife' for the first time since moving in.  Alice does such a good job, that she manuvers herself right out of job, feeling that they no longer need her. She makes up a story about a sick Aunt in Seattle, and turns in her resignation. Everyone is saddened at the prospect of losing Alice, but Carol realizes that Alice just may feel overburdened by the expanded family. Mike thinks he can solve the matter by offereing her a pay raise, which she refuses. But then, Jan and Marcia overhear Alice on the phone telling a friend she's obsolete (like a victrola when the new stereo arrives). They of course blab this to the rest of the family, and the Brady's conspire to show Alice how much she is needed by creating chaos that only she can handle. She sees through the ruse, but realizes there is still a place for her in their home and decides to stay. Good old Alice, always there when you need her the most.

Oahu Pineapple Spice Cake

Today is Mark's birthday and I purposefully saved this one when I realized it would coincide with my last recipe post. Two year's ago, when he turned 50, it also happened to be the 50th anniversary of Hawaii's statehood, so we had a "Mark 5-0" Hawaiian luau. Since then, he always wants a tropical birthday, and since we are going to Hawaii in February, I thought it fitting. Had Denni not gotten ill, we never would have planned the trip, although we talked about it often. When he was diagnosed, it jolted us into living for the moment, and left us with the feeling that we didn't want to someday look back and say we should have gone, but didn't. That said, pineapple cake. Flour, eggs, oil, cinnamon, nutmeg, sugars (white and brown), and pineapple baked in a Bundt pan. The best part is the icing, with among the sugar also includes rum and a lot of butter. The other two cakes from Alice had mixed results, but I was feeling hopeful about this one. Of course, the recipe directions were less than complete, but why should today be any different? I am on to Alice, and she cannot out smart me. We also had an all hors d'oeuvres dinner, because there isn't anything Mark wouldn't do for a platter of pu-pu.

Episode Note: "Hawaii Bound" The first of the three part Hawaiian epic. Mike has a big construction project he is overseeing in Oahu and takes the whole family along for the ride. Everything is coming up hibiscus for the Brady's in paradise.They take a whirlwind tour of the island, including Diamond Head and a solemn visit to  Pearl Harbor. The son of the man who owns the construction company offers to show Greg the island "sights" and do some surfing. Cindy and Bobby have a chance encounter with Don Ho. The girls all take in the shopping. Bobby even finds a cute little good luck charm at the construction site that he wears around his neck. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, it seems as if there is absolutely nothing that could spoil this idyllic family vacation...

Our Pilgrim Fathers' Thanksgiving Turkey

I love Thanksgiving and I love turkey. It is the easiest of meats to cook as long as you remember to clean it out first. Then, a little salt, some butter and into the roaster. The lengthy cooking time gives one the opportunity to reflect and to give thanks.  I am thankful for what we did have. The times at 8 Point, the "Real Live Brady Bunch," the Halloweens and Christmases, the can of beans in the mixer box, this cookbook, Paige and Andrew. All of the little times, and days, and conversations and our last trip to Chicago at Easter. The email I sent to him right before chemo telling him how much I loved him, his response saying the same to me. For all of the new and renewed friendships this experience has brought, and yes, even for Facebook. For every day, every moment, I am thankful for it all.

Episode Note: "The Un-underground Movie" Greg decides to make a film for his history project about the the first Thanksgiving. He enlists the help of the whole family to act in and to create elaborate sets and the costumes for the production. Too many cooks spoil the turkey, as it were, when everyone believes they also have a say in the creative direction of the film, making Greg wish he had never conceived the idea in the first place. Wanting to quit, but able to muster the same courage of the early settlers to carry on, Greg manages to reign in his out of line cast and crew. They wind up making an over dramatic cheesy silent movie of the suffering of the pilgrims through the harsh winter and failing crops and their relationship with the native Americans that culminates in the sharing of the first Thanksgiving meal. I gave thanks when it ended.

Grandma Connie's Shortbread

Shortbread cookies, just like grandma used to make. Okay, my grandmother never made these but I am sure some one's did. Flour, confectioner's sugar, and two sticks of butter mixed and rolled into a log and refrigerated for hour before being kneaded, rolled out and cut. Alice suggested using a round cookie cutter, but Julia and I used a pumpkin shape, 'tis the season after all. Baked for 20 minutes and cooled on a rack. Yes, she said to cool them on a rack. This makes me so proud of Alice, she's really come a long way since the "Marcia, Marcia, Marcia Muffins."

Episode Note: "You're Never Too Old"  A tour de force for Robert Reed and Florence Henderson, as they play their respective grand parents visiting from out of town. The episode must have been lobbied for by the make-up artist on the set, tired of only getting to tease Jan's wigs. Anyway, Mike and Carol go out of town and Mike's curmudgeon grandfather Hank, and Carol's fun loving grandmother, Connie, come to visit. At first, these two are like oil and water (when the lady met the fellow, it was way less than a hunch). But, the scheming children devise a plot to get the two oldies but goodies together, Hank loosening up and Connie taking things a bit more seriously. One wonders if this gave Robert Reed the compunction to go on to more dramatic roles, like Roots 2 (by a show of hands, who else was disturbed to see Mr Brady as a slave owner?) Anyway, of course the two old fogies become fond of one another and they elope to Vegas, making true that what happens at the Brady's, stays at the Brady's.

Garlic (No Vampire) Potatoes

Oven roasted new red potatoes (at 350 for two hours), then cut up and tossed with plenty of garlic. olive oil and salt and pepper.Yum. Nothing scary about this one. I actually made these last night and we had them with the "New House Pot Roast." They were very good and similar to mine, except I use rosemary instead of garlic. Oops, now you know my dirty little secret that sometimes I combine two recipes to make a meal and then take the next night off. Pay no attention to cook behind the curtain.

Episode Note: "Fright Night:" Two episode posts in a row, with almost identical plot lines. What are the chances? Well, pretty good that by season four, they were recycling plot lines from season one (how green of the producers). So, here we go again. We have Carol making a bust of Mike out of clay for an art class exhibit on Friday. Meanwhile, the boys have nothing better to do than try to frighten the girls with spooky noises in the night and ghostly images outside their window, making them feel as though the house is haunted. Mike and Carol dismiss their fears and the situation is "resolved." But the girls realize that the boys are behind the hijinx, and plot revenge. Then, all six decide to try to scare Alice while Mike and Carol are at the art show. Their best laid plans backfire when Mike and Carol happen upon the scene, and a terrified Alice smashes the bust of Mr Brady, thinking it is the head of a burglar. A classic parental lecture spews forth about the dangers of scaring people and the tragedy that potentially could have occurred. No allowance for two weeks is the punishment, putting a frightening end to the Brady Six's devil's night. Ooooh, scccarrryyy....

New House Pot Roast

I now have an incredibly close relationship with my local butcher as a result of this project. I think he's going to miss me, and Alice. If there was actually a Meatcutter's ball, I think I might get invited this year. Just sayin. Anyway, a rump roast browned on the cook top and then baked in the oven for three hours. Alice then had me make a gravy from the pan drippings, adding garlic, vinegar and tomato sauce in with the flour and the fat.
It was an excellent piece of meat.

Episode Note: "To Move, Or Not to Move" The whole family is complaining about the house being too small, too noisy, and not enough space or privacy, leading Mike and Carol to consider moving to a bigger house with separate girls and boys bathrooms. But, finding the right house that is affordable poses a problem. Alice tells Carol about an old house that has been empty for years that might work, because it is rumored to be haunted. Mike finds one that isn't haunted and makes an offer, they now just need to sell the house on Clinton Avenue. The only catch is that everyone has to change schools and make new friends, leaving the kids unsettled. The reminisce about all the good times in the house and begin to have buyer's remorse. Even Alice worries about moving too, not wanting to get used to a new kitchen. The kids decide to take matters into their own hands and rig up haunting noises to scare away potential buyers. Mike dismisses them as the house settling and women's runaway imaginations. When the buyer shows up, the kids go all out with noises and ghosts to frighten her away. In the end, everyone is relieved to be staying put, admitting that no one really wanted to move. Ah, but what will happen the next time someone wants their own room, that is the question.