A Farewell to Alice

The great Ann B. Davis died this week at the age of 88. While she did other work before the Brady Bunch  (and in fact won two Emmy Awards) it was her role as the stalwart Alice, that forever put her on the sitcom and pop culture map. Chief cook and bottle washer, she also was a foil to the Brady Six, confidant, and loyal companion to Sam the Butcher (she had a lot of extra time on her hands as the housekeeper of a dwelling with no toilets to clean).  And, tried as she might to break free of the clan, she always found her way back to that little room behind the kitchen just past the rarely seen laundry area. Alice was the glue that fused this blended family. It turns out that Ann B. Davis, I found upon reading her obituary, also had a twin sister. So now I am forced to rethink my criticism of all of those cousin and doppelganger episodes - maybe she didn't play both roles after all.

Of course readers of this blog know that my personal relationship with Alice goes much deeper. I will always be grateful for Ann B. Davis' willingness to lend her name and likeness to a "cook book" that was so fatally flawed yet provided me with such comfort (not food) during a dark time. She may have also helped me find my special purpose. I sure hope there is a Meat Cutter's Ball in heaven.

The Recipe: Ann B.'s One and Only Beef Jerky

I must confess that I did not attempt all of the recipes, but merely 117 (one for each episode) of the series. The book has more, and here is one, reprinted in it's entirety, without added comment from me. One read of it and you will see what I was up against.

Beef Brisket
Soy sauce
Lemon juice
Worcestershire sauce (not much)
Crushed red pepper (optional)
Garlic salt (optional)
Coarse ground pepper (optional)
Tabasco sauce (optional)
Smoke flavoring (optional)
Smashed dried onions (optional)
Cumin (optional, a little goes a long way)
Anything else that occurs to you

Cut off all of the fat from the beef (fat will not dry). Slice into manageably sized pieces. Arrange the beef strips in a shallow dish.
In a bowl combine one part soy sauce and two parts lemon juice (in a quantity great enough to cover the beef strips). Add any or all off the remaining ingredients that appeal to you. Pour the marinade over the beef and let sit overnight.
Drain. Spread the beef out on aluminum foil and put it in an oven that has a gas pilot. Don't light the oven. After 3 or 4 days it will be black and ugly and taste wonderful.
Alice's Note: I used to call this "My Secret Recipe for Beef Jerky That I Give to Everybody" because I kept hoping that someone would make it, then send me some. It takes 3 or 4 days to make, and I was always on the road a lot and didn't have time. I have lots of time now, so don't send me any. Try it. If you like it, give it to someone you like. If you don't like it, give it to someone you don't like.
Makes 4 to 6 servings.