Yuletide Pepper Salad

Here's one that I really wasn't looking forward to, just reading the recipe it sounded bad, even though the ingredients each on their own appeal to me. But together, not so much. White rice, sliced red and green peppers and a vinaigrette of Dijon, oil and white wine vinegar, tossed together. I used the rest of the box of converted rice, as my pantry is beginning to be quite full of half used "specialty" items, sort of like the ghosts of recipes past. Alice allowed for it to be served cold or at room temp, I opted for cold, like my revenge. I also went out on a limb and tossed in the rest of the artichoke hearts I had leftover from last night, a nice touch if I do say so myself. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.....

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Episode Note: "The Voice of Christmas" [I will admit that this was a "lost" episode as far I am concerned. I swear I had never seen it growing up, and six months ago if you had asked me if there was a Christmas episode I would have vehemently said no, and possibly bet money or some other tangible item in defense of my position.]  It's Christmastime, and there is a flurry of activity at the Brady residence, decorating the tree, shopping for presents, etc. The holiday is to culminate with a Christmas morning church service with Carol doing a solo of  "O' Come Ye Faithful." But tragedy strikes when she comes down with laryngitis a few days before. All hope seems to be lost that she'll be able to sing and the kids feel as though Christmas is ruined. Little lisping Cindy decides to take matters into her own hands and pleads to the big man himself, the department store Santa, to restore her mother's voice. Mike tries to explain that might be beyond Santa's bailiwick, but Cindy disagrees, saying Santa can do anything. With the family so glum, and Carol bedridden, it is up to Alice to explain to the kids what Christmas is really all about. They rally, and so does Carol, Cindy's wish come true. In the end, they celebrate a very Brady Christmas morning at home, and Carol sings like an angel at church. I believe, I believe, it's silly but I believe....

Psychedelic Pad Paella

This recipe in no way whatsoever resembles how I make paella. I highly doubt anyone actually would make it this way. First, the rice. Traditionally, Paella calls for Valencia or Arborio rice, but Alice insists that I used converted rice, which goes against the grain so to speak. Then, she wants me to put pork chops in. Yes, pork chops, not andouille sausage the way I do it, but pork chops. Oh, and artichoke hearts, which I have never heard of in paella. The rest of the ingredients are fairly standard: chicken, shrimp, peppers, peas, saffron, chicken broth. Her method of cooking it varies as well. I use a paella (which is Spanish for "pan." I used to call it my paella pan, but then realized I was saying pan pan and had to stop because that sounds like I am ordering cheap pizza). Anyway, she wanted me to throw it all into a dutch oven and let it simmer until the liquid was absorbed. It was better than I expected, but that's not always saying much when it comes to Alice.

Episode Note: "Our Son the Man" Starting high school has given Greg the 'treat me like a man, I need my own room' blues when an older girl at school dismisses him for being a square. Wait just a minute you say, he gets the attic room, but no I say, this is two seasons earlier and the attic is described as being three feet tall. (I am beginning to suspect that no one was in charge of continuity on the set). Anyway, after much discussion Mike gives up his den and Greg turns it into a hippie pad, complete with black light and beaded curtains, oh and rock music, the only thing missing is LSD. He also gives himself a makeover (think "New Greg Brady") and dons groovy threads (think fringe vest, head band, bell bottoms and reflector sunglasses). Sadly, all of his efforts to grow up and get hip don't succeed in getting the older girl to notice. He even opts out of the family camping trip so he can stay home and hang with his new homies who don't actually exist. In the end he chucks his new image and returns to the family fold. But wait you say, we saw that before too with "Johnny Bravo." Yes, I say, but that is two seasons away as well. I feel like I'm tripping just trying to keep it all straight.

Safety Monitor Stroganoff

This is another new one for me. I have never made Beef Stroganoff probably because it contains sour cream and I was under the twenty year impression that it was a no-no in our house. But now it isn't, so I combined the sour cream, tomato paste Worcestershire sauce, Dijon mustard, paprika and salt and pepper (to taste) and simmered for 20 minutes then removed from the heat and let it stand. Meanwhile, I sauteed sliced white mushrooms, set them aside and then browned the the beef tips and set them aside.I then returned the sour cream mixture to a simmer, added the mushrooms then added the beef until heated through. Served over egg noodles (which I now swear by NoYolks). Not bad, I'd let it off with a warning.

Episode Note: "Law and Disorder" Bobby takes his post as School Safety Monitor to the extreme. So much so, that his enforcement of the rules has alienated both his friends and family.  At first, he's not so enthused about being "class cop," but after a lecture about responsibility and the importance of enforcing the rules, likening him to a police officer, from Mike and Carol, Bobby is good to go. He studies the rules religiously so as to be able to crack down in the school yard. He writes tickets like the paper grows on trees for gum chewing, littering, and disorderly conduct in the hallways. Meanwhile, Mike brings home an old wooden row boat  and the Brady's set about to make it seaworthy. After issuing Cindy a moving violation for running in the hall, things go from bad to worse. Bobby turns his attention to enforcing the rules at home as well. He tries to explain that he's just doing his duty, but it falls on deaf ears. He begins compiling a weekly report for Mike and Carol on all the Brady rule breaking. Bobby has become what everyone in the family despises: a rat fink. Busting others is easy, but then Bobby finds himself in a rule breaking situation when a girl named Jill asks him to rescue her cat Pandora from an abandoned building clearly labeled 'KEEP OUT.' He successfully performs his role as first responder, but gets his good clothes filthy in the process. Trying to cover up his act, he puts his suit and a whole box of laundry detergent in the washer (that's always funny when suds are everywhere). He admits to breaking a rule, but Mike and Carol explain that some rule breaking is ok and they no longer want him enforcing the law at home, saying he has taken it too far. Talk about a mixed message. He doesn't even get a punishment, apparently his two wrongs made a right somehow. Mutiny on the SS Brady is narrowly avoided.

Poison Apple Cider

Grown-up apple cider at its finest. Black tea, brewed and strained over sugar. Once the sugar is dissolved, orange juice, brandy and the cider are added. Garnished with  lemon. I have occasionly wondered if Alice was a closet drinker, nipping at the cooking sherry, but now we know she likes her brandy disguised as apple cider. As an aside, I am down to the final eight recipes.

Episode Note: "Snow White and the Seven Brady's" Cindy's beloved teacher is retiring and the class wants to buy her an expensive gift. Not having the funds to do so, Cindy suggests that they put on a play to raise money. All is well until a snafu results in the theatre being double booked and Cindy has no venue. But the show must go on and the Brady's brainstorm and decide to do it in their own backyard. They elect to perform Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, leaving Cindy with two casting problems: first, their are only six Brady children (Mike is Prince Charming, Carol is Snow White and Alice is the evil queen) and second, each of them want to be Dopey (leaving that one alone). They draw Dwarf names from a hat, and no one gets Dopey. Sam comes to the rescue, making a house call meat delivery just at that moment and he gets the coveted role. Tickets are sold, the stage and costumes are created, lines are rehearsed again and again. The rub comes the day of the show when Alice realizes that she has rehearsed the poison apple scene so many times that she's out of apples, causing Mike and Sam, in full Prince and Dopey costume to drive to the market to get more apples. A police officer intervenes when they double park and neither has any identification (no pockets in tights). They explain the whole play concept trying to get out of the jam, only further getting them into trouble when the officer inquires as to whether or not they have a permit to sell tickets (damn government intrusion). They manage to iron things out by inviting the policeman and his children to attend the performance (LAPD respond well to bribery) and the show goes without a hitch. Mirror, Mirror on the wall, is this the dopiest episode of all?

Misunderstanding Mashed Potato Cakes

I don't think I get this. Cold mashed potatoes (Alice didn't tell me how to get them) mixed with butter and flour, then turned onto a floured surface, rolled out (which was impossible), cut into "fun" shapes (her idea of a joke) and fried on a griddle for 3 minutes per side. Yes, you read that correctly. Well, as you can tell from the photo, the shapes weren't very fun, but they started out as pumpkins, butterflies and ice cream cones, I kid you not. Taste wise, we all agreed that they were edible, but a waste of some good mashed potatoes, which are a staple in our house. Perhaps I just misunderstood Alice's intent. It is clear, I shall be tested until the bitter end.

Episode Note: "Goodbye Alice, Hello" (Sometimes known as the "Kay" episode in super fan circles) A series of unfortunate events leads the kids to give Alice the silent treatment. She reluctantly rats Greg and Peter out for breaking a lamp (turns out Mom never said not to toss a Frisbee in the house) and also innocently squeals on Marcia for leaving the record player on. Feeling as though she irreparably breached their trust, and is no longer a friend to the kids, Alice resigns. Heartbroken, she has decided that it is finally time to move on. She gets a more than suitable replacement in Kay, her housekeeper BFF. Kay is all cooking and cleaning and no small talk. She believes not to get involved personally with the family who employs her. The contrast between jovial, fun loving Alice and staid Kay becomes startling to the kids. They begin to long for the old days (two days prior) and  Alice. Feeling remorse for treating her poorly, they get Kay to tell them where Alice  is, and track her down at a local diner, where she is a waitress. They convince Alice that they do love her and want her back. She clicks her heels together and returns to the Brady household, knowing that there's no place like home.

Double Trouble Cookies

Nothing troubles me about these cookies, really nothing troubles me about cookies in general. Flour, sugar (white and brown), peanut butter, egg, baking soda, butter and two kinds of chips: chocolate and peanut butter. This would have been a dessert trifecta for Denni, cookies, chocolate and peanut butter, three of his favs rolled (well, really dropped by the spoonful) into one. Twice as good as regular cookies, and no two looked exactly the same.

Episode Note: "Two Petes in a Pod" A double shark jump when Peter discovers the new kid at school, Arthur Owens, is his doppelganger. At first, it is all fun and games as they pretend to be each other, fooling teachers, friends and family. But, Arthur throws a wrench into the frivolity when, posing as Peter, makes a date with Pamela to go to a costume party. At the same time, Peter as Peter makes a date with Michelle for the same night to come over and hang out. Peter, doesn't want to break either date, especially since Pamela is Mr. Phillips' niece, and he doesn't want to let on to his parents what he and Arthur have been up to. They devise a plot to have "Peter" go on both dates. Arthur is to come over and as Peter entertain Pamela, while Peter goes out with Michelle. The plan is a almost fool-proof except for Arthur is late and both girls arrive before he does. Peter does his best to run back and forth between the living room and family room, taking off and putting on his Dracula costume in between until Arthur shows up. All is well and Peter and Michelle are about to leave, when Mike and Carol unexpectedly come home and find two of Peter, forcing Peter to tell the truth to the girls and his parents about he and Arthur. The girls don't seem to mind, and the parents seem unfazed by the double vision, it being the 70s and all.

Westdale High Family Frolics Frittata

This is sort of like breakfast for dinner in one dish: eggs, ham cheese and potato baked together. First, Alice had me quarter white potatoes and boil for 15 minutes and then drain, cool and sliced. Then, in a baking dish I layered  the ham and the potatoes. In a separate bowl I beat six eggs and added herbs and salt and pepper and then poured that over the ham and potatoes, followed by some shredded Gruyere. Baked for 25 minutes or until golden brown (yes, she is always that precise). The consensus was that is was okay, but my breakfast strada is better. I say strada, Alice says frittata, let's call the whole thing off.

Episode Note: "The Show Must Go On?"  We find Greg and Marcia both having volunteered their parents to perform in the Westdale High Family Night Frolics talent show. Needless to say, Carol is less than thrilled at at the notion of singing in public, and as Mike tries to convince her to do it he gets roped into performing with Greg. Everyone chips in to sell tickets and Alice volunteers to take some down to Sam at the butcher shop. All is well, especially since chicken livers are on sale for 69 cents a pound, until Alice discovers Sam would rather go bowling than take her to the Frolics. A fight ensues and they break up. Alice is down in the dumps at home, and Jan and Cindy take matters into their own hands and decide to make Sam jealous by convincing him that Alice is cheating on him. This doesn't sit well with Sam, and he demands that Alice allow him to take her to the show. Nothing like young girls lying and manipulating so a woman can get her man. Anyway, Carol and Marcia perform "Together" from Gypsy and Mike does a dramatic reading accompanied by Greg on the guitar, spicing it up with a comic gag routine involving Peter and Bobby dropping feathers and water from the cat walk to much laughter from the audience. The show is a rousing success. Remember when you were a kid and thought if you and your mother could just do a song and dance routine together dressed as hobos everything would be grand? Yeah, me too.